April Fools Covid Diary

Like many of you I’m now a Senior (over 60), thanks to Covid and the Woolies App I found out that I’m eligible for a NSW Seniors Card and can do my shopping first thing (Weds & Fri 7–8am). Which is great because I’m a Dawn Breaker and was an early riser when I was working or going down to the local park for exercise as the sun came over the Blue Mountains. I love the quiet cool stillness as the sun creeps over the horizon, the morning fog clears as the wet dew on the grass rises and birds sing.

But enough of that, my observations of an old town infested with ‘Senior Citizens’ like me:

· They are generally more considerate of others as they wait in an orderly fashion at the Supermarket;

· They park in the handicap spaces closer to the shop when they clearly need the exercise;

· They drive everywhere and must see it as a form of exercise;

· They (and every other lazy person) leave their shopping trollies everywhere;

· They open their non-essential shops despite being told otherwise;

· They like feeding pigeons despite the health hazard created by piles of shit on every footpath, which costs local government to use a sucker truck. They’re called carrier pigeons because they used to deliver mail but they now deliver a slipeery mess and potentially disease (not just from bats and flying foxes);

· They (and every other lazy person) let their dogs’ shit everywhere without picking it up;

· They love their rituals such as takeaways, even when it’s not a drive through; and

· They love life insurance because all I see are endless TV ads. Of course, life insurance is a contradiction in terms, so if dead money isn’t PC, then it could be Terminal/Inheritance Insurance because it’s not good for you!

Maybe only now, ‘I see old people’!